I know I am going to sound incredibly unfeminine and ungirly when I say this but… I hate going to the hairdressers. I feel the burden heaving down on my chest whenever I notice my hairs start to split or frazzle at the ends knowing that time has come around again – I have to make another appointment. It’s one of those necessary evils I can’t seem to shake.
If you’re like me and you go to a different hairdresser each time (maybe because I am never satisfied with one hairdresser), you are subject to subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) insults of your previous haircut. Obviously they want to put down the previous hairdresser to make you think they know exactly what they’re doing and the other hairdresser doesn’t. Uh-uh, that sales pitch ain’t working on me.
- The small talk
Small talk has got to be one of the most mind-numbing and pointless exercises that humans engage in. Yes stranger, I don’t want to hear about the trivial things in your life, and I don’t want to give you anything about me.
The last time I went to have my haircut the hairdresser went on and on about her children. Being a completely non-maternal woman, I am not interested in strangers’ kids. So, between each riveting story about how her child doesn’t like eating vegetables and has just learnt how to tie his shoelaces, I tried to express my disinterest with grunts and sighs. It wasn’t working. This woman did not pick up on any social cues. Small talk sucks.
“I would like my hair cut choppy on the ends,”
“Oh trust me; you don’t want it choppy, you want it cut straight.”
I think it needs to be a prerequisite that before a person graduates from hairdressing school they can prove they listen to the client. Listen to me I am the one that is paying the money.
I hate hate hate going to a hairdresser, explaining exactly what you want and not getting it. Or worse, being told that that isn’t what you want. I’m not interested in the hairdressers’ opinion or their interpretation of what I’m saying, I want them to cut the way I am explaining.
- The upselling bull shit
Another sales tactic nearly all hairdressers use is trying to upsell the customer to buy extra hair products. I understand this; I worked way too long in retail, so I completely understand the concept of sales targets and how upselling gets you there. I just don’t want it done to me.
Hair spray is all I’m really interested in in the way of hair products, and even then I like the brand that goes for $2 in the supermarket. So no, I don’t care how my hair feels like after you’ve doused it in that over-priced cream you’ve conveniently got placed right next to us. I want to save my money. And I don’t care.
- The price
I don’t get my hair dyed, washed, blow dried, permed, curled, anything – just trimmed. So how is the price justified?
And I think it is a gender injustice that women’s’ haircuts cost far more than men’s. I understand the reasoning behind this – generally men have shorter hair than women. But, I think further to this, women are generally larger consumers with all things hair related so inflating the costs of a haircut works because women are prepared to foot the bill in the name of appearance.
But in this progressive day and age, many women have short hair and many men have long hair. Why not have prices for long hair vs short? Or on how long it took to the hairdresser? (FYI When my partner and I get a haircut together – my hair long, his short – it takes them exactly the same amount of time, but I’m left forking out at least $10 more.) I think leaving standards the way they are is purely gender discrimination.
So as I have noticed my hair splitting today, I know I am going to procrastinate my appointment with the hairdresser for an unreasonably long amount of time. Or maybe I’ll just bypass all this bullshit and get mum to cut it. Thanks mum.